Well as you may have guessed, I am incredibly in touch with Mother Earth. I just bought Tom's All Natural Deodorant. I felt particularly orgasmic when I disposed of all my carcinogenic home cleaning products and replaced them with Seventh Generation, a company that through either genuine humility, sheer manipulation or a tricky combination of marketing genius, has convinced me that I am saving the planet with each seven dollar product I consume. I even now wipe my ass with recycled paper, which is apparently better for the pipes and the people that have to clean them.Today, I even acquired a very fashionable Target tote to get my groceries instead of using plastic. OH, I even fucking brought a CNN mug to work at the risk of looking like an out version of Anderson Cooper. I mean, GOD I'm fucking GREEN.
To keep the momentum going, this weekend I embark on my fourth annual "camping" trip with my friends from high school, which in reality entails me sleeping in a garage with a goose down sleeping bag. Let's be fucking honest, no one is into having rocks between their discs or smelling like a piece of wood. Well, maybe some people are. I'm more of a concrete and lemonade kinda fella with manicured hands.
That said, I actually just got excited as I was packing up my Brooklyn Industries style pack. Why? Well, I guess there is something to be said for resigning one's self to sitting in the middle of nowhere at the base of a mountain, at the risk of being attacked by the cast of the Strangers or a bear. Shit, I might even drink a beer instead of a Pinot Grigio. What's more, I'll get to ride a QUAD.
Ahhhhh, I'm chewing on a piece of bark now.
Hopefully I'll return so I can continue to talk bullshit.
Goodbye.
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